Fat and sweaty

I went to an interview for an internship for which I applied. I sent in my resume a couple of weeks ago, which included some of my blog posts. Not being able to remember what I had sent them, I was reading through it. I came across this line from the post, You want to stick that where?, "As I rode my bike with the ever flattening back tire..."

There seems to be a reoccurring theme here.

One of my friends recently built me a bicycle, which I absolutely adore. It is a fixed gear bike, with a blue powder coated rim and matching handlebar tape. The frame is a charcoal gray, embedded with sparkles that glitter in the sunlight. Sounds like a fantastically gay bike. It is beautiful.

I have had this bike a very short while, and have already had 3 flat rear tires. Upon reading about my ever flattening back tire from last summer, it struck me that I may have a weight issue here. Am I too fat to ride a bicycle with a skinny, highly inflated tire? I think that consuming Carrabba's fare 3 times a week is starting to catch up with me.

If it were simply an unlucky thorn problem, wouldn't the front tube be as likely to pop as the rear? Yet, I never have this problem up front. It's always the ass-end tapping out, screaming for mercy. And when those desperate supplications are ignored, ass-end offs itself.

On an unrelated, sweaty note, I had forgotten just how hot this wretched house gets in the summer time. Here I sit, wearing socks (because in this heat, the effort required to bend down to remove them might send me into heat stroke) and the most skimpy underwear I can find, longing for fall. Remaining in the house clothed in anything more is a good way to pass out in a pool of ones own sweat. It doesn't help matters that my laptop feels like a pist off dragon breathing on my crotch. Which is another reason I have been avoiding my computer. It is too hot to write. Only by about 11 pm does the temperature become bearable. Which is to say, about 80 degrees.

Perhaps this heat is a good thing. Maybe I'll start sweating off some of the weight gain, and relieve a little of the pressure on my back tire, and thus avoid having to get a second job just to keep up with the tubular explosions.

Relax summer. Are 100 degrees really necessary?

1 comment:

Dave said...

I wear a thong when it gets hot.

Or rather...I wear a thong and then it gets hot. wink wink, nudge nudge.