Tight wad

Today, a guy came into the carside door and ordered a chocolate cake desert thing. The total was 6 dollars and 47 cents. He pulled a ziplock plastic baggy out of his pocket, and proceeded to pull out a 10 dollar bill.

"A crafty substitute for a wallet, that ziplock bag," I thought.

He handed me a crinkled up 10 dollar bill. I opened the carside cash drawer, and was annoyed at finding no coins. Typically when this occurs on a carry out order, I try to look and sound real put out when I tell them, "hang on a sec, I'll go look for 37 cents." Or 15 cents. Or 62 cents. Or whatever the cents may be. And often times, people will say, "Don't worry about it." Partially because they realize that you should tip on a carry out order at a legitimate restaurant, and partly, I think, due to the fact that "who really gives a shit about 33 cents."

I owed him 53 of those cents. I assumed he wasn't going to say, "go ahead and keep it," as he had fished that $10 out of a plastic bag. So I said, "Hang on a sec, I'll go find you some change." I walked away, immediately calling out, "does anyone have 4 quarters?" I found 4 quarters, and returned to the guy. I owed him 53 cents, but gave him 50. Because I don't carry quarters, let alone pennies. In fact, in my entire serving career, I have never given anyone coins. If it is 15 cents or less, I eat it. If it is more than that, I let them eat it, and tip me less if they are pist.

Nobody has ever been pist.

What sort of person really would care about 3 pennies?

The answer to that question, apparently, is a person who carries his money around in a plastic sack.

Upon handing him the 50 cents, I turned away to go back to whatever else I was doing. He said, "Um...it was fifty-three cents." Dumbfounded, I sort of just stared at him for a moment. "Okay. I'll find you 3 pennies."

So I walked away, yelling "Does anyone have three pennies? Anyone?"
"What the hell do you need 3 pennies for?"
"Just gimmie the damn pennies please."

So I walked back over, and said, "Here are you 3 pennies."
He put them in the plastic sack, and left.

I wonder if, on dates, he transfers his money into something more respectable. Like a velcro wallet.


Nat's blog said...

bwahahaha when did this happen...oh i so wish i was there to witness it! gotta love our job!

Chris Almond said...

for a little while I was carrying my money around in a little jar. As you could imagine it didn't work so well. But you know what? My heart was in the right place.
What sort of guy was this character?

Jenna said...

I want to go and find my old velcro wallet now.

Nikki said...

That is fantastic. I love people like that. Good post...made me laugh. Love reading your stuff!

Fish Nat!on said...

Chris--Just a pretty regular looking dude. Not the sort that one would look at and immediately think, "I bet this asshole has his money in a ziplock sack."