Turns out when you don't bike for almost 2 weeks, but instead train for employment at an italian restaurant, and eat massive amounts of pasta and cheese, it doesn't just end up being 2 weeks of carbo-loading, preparing you for the ride of your life. Rather, you gain about 5 lbs, and sweat and wheeze up the hill like it was the beginning of the season. Or something like it.
During the post sweat to death shower, for some reason I got the song "Beat It," by Michael Jackson stuck in my head. Upon writing that, and thinking about what I just wrote, I realize that the previous sentence inadvertently sounds REALLY SUSPECT. Honestly, just a coincidence.
Eventually, that song morphed into the Weird Al Yankovic parody "Eat it." Which unfortunately happens to songs, when there exists a Weird Al version that I listened to in my youth. And also, because I don't really know the words to Beat it. But I'll be damned if I don't know just about every line to Eat It.
There was always this one line in Eat It that I was unsure of. It went: "Your table manners are a crying shame, you're playing with your food is this some kind of game? Now if you start to dance, you'll just have yourself to blame so eat it." I never really knew what he was saying there, but it sounded like "now if you start to dance," which makes not one bit of sense. But for years, that's what it was in my mind.
Until I was standing in the shower, fairly annoyed that such a stupid song was going through my head. Upon arriving at that line, I stopped scrubbing my arm pits and thought about it. "Now...if...you...start...to...dance..." And then it clicked. After 20 years, it finally clicked. "Now if you STARVE to death."
Sometimes, when I get a song in my head and I don't really know the words, my mind just makes some up. Like the song, "Baby Come Back." The part where it says, "Baby come back, you can blame it all on me," for some weird reason becomes "Baby Tourettes, don't you blame your shit on me."
No idea why. But I'm not mad that it happens.