Avoiding a cat invasion

My toilet is being a real piece of shit right now.

I had a leaky faucet in my bathroom sink until about a week ago, when my landlord came and fixed it. Perhaps this was merely coincidental, but that very same day that he fixed the sink, the toilet developed a slow leak. I feel like they must somehow be correlated, although I can not imagine how he could have screwed up the toilet by fixing the sink. Although, the water in the toilet bowl was curiously low when I came back that night. Verrrry curious.

Anyways, there is a slow (or maybe in reality not so slow) leak in the toilet water tank, which causes the water level (in said tank) to drop a couple of inches every few minutes. Which then causes it to refill itself. Aside from simply being annoying, and a stellar waste of water, my life is being endangered every time I shower.

During every showering endeavor, I can expect to experience no fewer than 3 scaldings, depending upon the duration of the shower. A typical shower for me ranges anywhere from 6-12 minutes, depending upon several factors: is this a post work shower? A woke up sweaty shower? In that case, probably 4-6 minutes. In the case of the former, probably closer to the 12 minute range, as it takes time to sluice the Carrabba filth from my body. Not to mention, after standing up for 12 hours, a long shower feels nice. So, in a 12 minute time period, I can expect at LEAST 4 scaldings.

Today, I decided to time my post work out entry into the shower with a toilet refilling, in an attempt to avoid the 3-4 scaldings I thought would be included in the necessary showering time frame. I managed to escape with only 2 scaldings, although the toilet tried its damnedest to get me a third time, as a refilling occurred a mere second after I shut off the water.

I can typically gauge when the scaldings will occur, by the sudden drop in water pressure. At which point I jump to the end of the tub, out of range of the certain 2nd degree burns. The problem is, when the water pressure returns, there is still a measure of scalding water emitted from the faucet, which has gained strength enough to hit my feet, so there is no complete escape. And so I end up hopping from one foot to the other until the water has returned to normal heat. Embarrassing mental image.

I swear, I'm going to go missing for a couple of days. I reckon it would probably take up to 3 for people to really miss me and attempt some sort of investigation. And I fear that I shall be found naked on the bathtub floor, scalded to death, without a shred of dignity remaining. Although, maybe the cat lady below would wonder why my water had been running straight for a couple days, and send her kitty minions on a reconnaissance mission to find out just why I was taking a 2 day shower.

I don't want those cats in my house. I need to get this fixed.


Seneca said...

This is really one of my favorite blogs ever. You. Crack. Me. Up. Nuf said.

Lindsay said...

You've made me a blog-stalker. Enough said.