On Monday, I picked up the final piece of my suit (the jacket) from Macy's, where it was being tailored for about 3 weeks. Takes a lot of time, apparently, to lengthen sleeves by 2 inches.
While waiting for someone to help me, I was browsing some various colognes that were on a table. I'm not really a big cologne guy. I've been wearing the same thing for 5 years.
Calvin Klein, I'm never wild about. Smells to musky for me. Like a slick old business guy. Stings the nostrils. Sean Jean, I feel like I'm not allowed to wear because I'm not black. And the name "Unforgivable" just sounds cheesy to me. Although, finding a cologne name that isn't outrageous is pretty hard. This is how I feel like the conversation would go:
"Mmm, what are you wearing?"
"Ew, don't call me baby."
There was a bottle of Versace. It didn't have some cheesy-assed name. Just "Versace Man." What man can't feel respectable wearing that? Plus it smells DELICIOUS. So I drenched my chest, and went to work. And let me tell you, smelling Versace MAN all day rather than garlic and meat was heavenly. So I have been debating since then if I wanna pony up the cash and buy it.
Last night, I had a dream. I went to Smith's Marketplace and was looking at cologne (weird.) And I found the Versace, and decided to buy it. Ben Stiller was working one of the check out lines. Except for he had this real greasy, side slicked hair that was apparently supposed to be a disguise. Because I guess he liked to work there (in disguise) a couple of times a week. And I was trying to be sneaky, and take a picture of him with my iphone. He was talking a mixture of "Spanish language channel beechez," guy from Anchorman, and Tony Wonder from Arrested Development. I got my picture, he sold me the Versace, and I woke up pist that I didn't really have Ben Stiller pictures on my iphone. Or Versace. Also, that Ben Stiller didn't work at the local Smith's Marketplace.
I'm pretty certain that was the most sure sign I've ever had that I should purchase something. Also, another garbage can to separate my recyclables.