20.4.09

I'm a little bit curious about the got2b Magnetik gel that I found in the bathroom; curious about the who and the why of it.

The front of the bottle says: Styling Gel [with pheromones]
The mission statement on the back is this: b warned: this goes beyond your ordinary styling gel. got2bMagnetik styling gel contains pheromones--a man's secret edge to make the ladies take notice. So get your game on...because this stuff delivers firm hold and natural shine--AND gets the ladies revved up.

Which roommate purchased said gel under the impression that his "game" would indeed be improved, and why said roommate thought that such a thing might truly improve his mating abilities, is what I'm wondering.

I smelled it and was not turned on, therefore I would assume it is strictly a heterosexual gel. And lets be honest; no self respecting gay man would put that foul concoction in his hair, because it smells like ass. Nobody is going to be revving anyone up with this stuff.

I don't believe this was an accidental purchase, but one that was rather well thought out. Being a recovered gel user, I know the thought and scrutiny that goes into the purchase of a gel. There exist a plethora of different gels in the world, and this particular one claims no inherent special ability beyond that of a pheromonal draw. I mean, its a hold, polish, and shine gel. NBD. In other words, besides that of containing a supposed female attractant, it's just your average gel. And likely a 6 dollar bottle at that, since it comes from the got2b breed. Which is like...your high end mega-store/grocery store brand. Beyond that, you start getting into actual Salon products, and you can kiss your pheromones goodbye. One must then rely upon style, and well placed pelvic thrusts to rev up the ladies.

I know my gel from the embarrassing spiky hair and/or faux hawk days in which I employed the got2b glued gel. So what I'm saying here, is this gel was most certainly purchased with the express intention to improve his game and help him "get chix," as such a person would likely say. I mean, if the shine and medium hold were the only aim, he would have just gone with the ever economical L.A. Looks, or the dollar store tub-o-gel.

This brings up all sorts of disturbing questions and dilemmas. How many pheromones must be present for a company to legally claim the employment of them in a product? Who is regulating that? Does the existence of such a product undermine a woman's ability to think coherently? If so, will the distribution of rufies and other essential date rape sedative drugs decrease along side this new, legal form of "game" enhancement? Will the got2b line come out with a comparable pheromonal gel for gay men? If pheromones can truly be placed in something as simple as a hair gel, why not employ them in all aspects of cosmetics? Why am I not bathing in pheromone soap, or slathering myself up with a pheromone enhanced lotion every day? What can this mean for me, who has been so unsuccessful in the dating realm?

The possibilities for good and evil are endless.

4 comments:

Lesly said...

bahaha..
andrew my dear friend, i miss you a little.

steph petry said...

i like gel because it makes it easy to identify assholes from a distance.

nice post by the way.

Joliene said...

Hair gel is horrible. I didn't like it middle school when it was cool and I don't like it now. Why does anyone want to look like their hair is hard and shiny and completely un-hair-like? I like hair, but I like hair that looks like it would be pleasant, not decidedly unpleasant, to touch.

Also, hahahhahaha.

I wish I knew someone that was silly enough to try to use pheromones to enhannce their game. I would laugh every time I saw them for a good month straight. I think it would make for a fun month.

Dave said...

I use pheremone gel and it WORKS. you don't even know.