Perpetually puppies

As one who has graduated with a degree of questionable value, I have been trying lately to think of some businesses that I could start.

Today, I saw a couple playing with a darling little puppy. Which made me think about how much I enjoy a good puppy. In fact, I would say that I would love to have a puppy. I find that I only have such desires for an animal when I see a puppy. I never see a gnarly old grown up dog and think, "I'd sure like one of those lying around the house and shitting in the yard." Only puppies.

Which lead me to one of my first ideas for a company: Perpetually Puppies. I can't be the only person who really only wants a dog during the puppy phase of its existence. People are always so excited to get a new puppy. Then it grows up a bit, waxes exponentially less cute with age, and suddenly becomes that creature that you would probably essentially forget exists, except for the accumulated feces and obnoxious barking. Once it reaches this stage, you then realize the magnitude of your decision to adopt and or purchase that once adorable little beast; you just made a solid 15 year investment. I mean, if you (assuming you are a female) dropped a baby out of your womb the very day you brought home that little, furry bundle of yapping joy, the fruit of your loins may very well move out of the house before that 4 legged creature gets buried in the back yard.

So. Why not create a program where people get puppies, and then get rid of said puppies once they are no longer puppies? Perpetually Puppies. "We put them to sleep so you don't have to." Once your puppy starts to mature, you simply trade it away for a new puppy. I haven't quite figured out yet what happens to the expired puppies. This is a new business model, mind you, and there is still a lot to work out. Perhaps they can be sold to china for meat? Or they can be simply turned loose south of the border, as nobody would notice a few thousand more dogs a month showing up on the streets amongst hundreds of thousands. Perpetually Puppies. "Enjoy them while they are still truly enjoyable." Perpetually Puppies. "Pooping in manageable proportions."

Perpetually Puppies. I want this to exist.


karlee said...

I was thinking today that I should add you on facebook, because I like you and maybe we could be friends.

I changed my mind.

Fish Nat!on said...

I hope your tongue was as deeply embedded in your cheek when you wrote that comment as mine was when I wrote this post.

Amy said...

Cruel. I'm telling PETA.

Dave said...

haha. looks like you lost some friends over this.

I think the dogs should be sold to Michael Vick after they're not cute anymore.

that'll teach'em

anne. said...

uuuuuuhhhhhhh i want one. stop it.

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