A great way to kill someone(s)

While recently watching Troy on the television, and thoroughly enjoying staring at Brad Pitts beautiful, chiseled features (gentlemen, I don't care how gay you are or aren't, you can't tell me that you don't at least secretly enjoy looking at Brad Pitt) I was also inherently subjected to all manner of obnoxious commercials. Occasionally I love commercials. Such as the Jack Links Sasquatch Mt. Biker add. Totally worth it. Others just piss me off. Such as anything with a jingle parody derived from a horrible song. "Don't drive that car, that achy breaky car..." Blow my brains out please. Others leave me absolutely indifferent.

Some commercials just thoroughly convince me to never ever purchase a product, or to cancel any affiliation with a company. In between Brad Pitt's nephew's throat being hacked open, and the former subsequently burying his sword in Hector's chest, I was subjected to just such a commercial. It was from Geico. Generally, Geico leaves me with a feeling of indifference. I'm not annoyed, yet I don't love the gecko, nor find their adds particularly clever or witty. This particular commercial showed a bunch of elderly women talking to the gecko. The Gecko was trying to convince them to go with Geico insurance, offering them a discount for the elderly.

Immediately I was pist. Why is Geico doing anything to convince elderly people to continue driving? I think that the elderly of our nation (and I'm generally speaking of people in their 80's and 90's) have way too much freedom behind the wheel. Which is essentially robbing the rest of us of our freedom to be safe on the road. Everyone has seen the shriveled old crone creeping down the street, barely able to see over the steering wheel of her Cadillac Deville, Coke bottle glasses burning a hole through the dash with the reflected sun, not to mention scorching out the retinas of any person unfortunate enough to meet that peeping gaze. A freaking fire laser.

How could this person be deemed a safe driver? Think of all the close calls and evasive maneuvers that you have had to make throughout your driving career. Do you really think that this poor old woman, who happens to be knocking on death's door, is really able to mentally and physically make those split second decisions that are so often the difference between a heap of twisted metal and gore, and driving away with your stomach in your throat, shaking your fist at some moron? Absolutely not.

Now, I think that there certainly exist people in their 80's and 90's who still have the reflexes of a liger, and the mind of a puma. But there needs to be some sort of filtering process. I think that once a person hits their 70's, they should have to go through some sort of rigorous driving test each year, to make absolutely sure that they are fit for the road, and not needlessly endangering innocent people, not to mention themselves. I sympathize with them, I really do. It would obviously suck to loose the freedom of driving. But when you get old, that's exactly what happens. You can't always do everything that you once could. It's part of life. And death. We (and by we I mean the government, and the people of planet earth) are foolish to simply assume that because a person has a laminated slip of paper containing their photo, weight, and fake hair color, said person is fit to operate 2000 lbs of careening metal.

Anyway, I decided that my affair with Geico auto insurance was quickly approaching its end, as are a great many of Geico's target clientele.


Lyns said...

Okay - I just had to comment for one reason and one reason only. My husband LOVES the Messin' With Saskwatch commercials. I think they are pretty dumb, but he laughs out loud every time. I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one who loves those dumb commercials. :)

Lauren! said...

I think we should take it a step further and make the elderly walk off into the desert and give themselves up to the Earth when they become a drain on society. Honestly.