Well okie dokey then yer darn tootin' ya betcha gosh darnit

I was watching Fargo the other day. That movie made me realize that all people from the Midwest are stupid and ignorant. Something about the accent. And the ignorance.

Okay, not really. I am sure that there are many bright and intelligent people living in the Midwest. Fargo however, portrays them all in a rather moronic light. I found that the film aroused in me conflicting feelings of sympathy and annoyance. On one hand, I couldn't help but feel bad for the obviously uneducated and naive Midwestern folk. And on the other hand, the way their accents made them seem moderately retarded was uber annoying.

So upon watching some clips from the Biden/Palin debate (which I unfortunately missed) I couldn't help but immediately notice that she sort of sounds like a moron. I mean, while watching Fargo I just assumed that the accents were pretty much a joke. I know quite a few people from the Midwest, and none of them talk like that. I figured it was similar to how extremely redneck accents are often joked about. I mean really, there aren't too many people who REALLY talk that way. Granted, I went to school with some who did, but they mostly did it on purpose, because for whatever reason talking like a redneck somehow gained one some form of "tough" status. Or whatever. I hated it then, and I hate it now. My point being, I figured the portrayal in Fargo was simply exaggerated.

Palin sounds just like someone from Fargo. And I found myself getting really annoyed, really quickly. She sounds ignorant. Everyone is sick of listening to Bush, because bless his heart, he does a better job at putting on an extremely ignorant front than probably any political leader in history. I don't know if I can handle her in the spot light for 4 years. And possibly REALLY in the spotlight if McCain keels over. Ohkee dokey then doncha kno.

I suppose the deeply buried, quasi intellectual within me cringes at even the front of feigned hey-I'm-just-a-ignorant-town-folk-just-like-you-ya-betcha. That doesn't win me over. And I think (laying her ultra conservative ideals aside) that sort of thing completely turns off all of the know-it-all I'm-so-much-smarter-than-the-average-earthling liberals out there. And maybe some of us moderate, or conservative, or libertarian, or constitutionalists out there who would like to think we are of at least an average level of intelligence.

It seems like the McCain/Palin ticket is a sinking ship anyway, so she probably won't be in the lime light much longer. I'm just heart broken that there are no good options this election. I'm so incredibly disappointed in the candidates that I could grow a mustache. A mustache of shame.

And I hate watching them debate. I hate the little self assured, "psh, oh geez yeah right, are you hearin' what this guy is sayin'?" looks on their faces as the other is going over policy or voting record, or the other's flaws. Their haughty little smirks. Because every damn thing one of them says, the other refutes it with a completely different story. It's like, they are either both bold faced liars, or insane. Perhaps, God help us, they both just have such a warped sense of reality that they both really think that all of the drivel they are spouting is the absolute truth. Like in this argument. I'm so over it.

I just want to go to sleep, and wake up with the next president so we can just move on.

Not like...literally with the next president. I can't imagine the horror that would clench the chest of one who woke up nestled next to John McCains grizzled old corpse. Or what it would feel like to have my face melted away by Obama's holy messianic elitism upon opening my eyes and finding my head buried protectively in arm pit*.

I leave you with this.

*It's 3 am and I'm a little tired. Thus, a little nuts and possible incoherent.


Carla said...

you need to watch the movie "drop, dead gorgeous." It's hilarious and will give you a better appreciation for the accents.

Angie said...

Thanks for this post. You took the words right out of my mouth. You know that feeling in Sacrament Meeting when a speaker says something really awkward and you start to feel a vicarious embarrassment. Almost like you want to stand up and apologize yourself? Well, that's how I feel when I watch Palin. I just want to say, "Sorry guys. That was kinda awkward. Let's start over. Without the wink this time."

Snubbs the White Rabbit said...

Dude, I can speak from personal experience. I served my mission North Dakota. My second area was an hour south of Fargo (still the same stake). People really do talk like they do in the movie. Not everyone, but there are people like that. Oh YAH! Fairgo, oh yah. Ridiculous. I was just talking to my mom about how Palin sounds like that. I'm right there with you. This election sucks...doncha know.

PS My favorite line from that movie is when Steve Buscemi's character mocks William H. Macy's, "Heck doyamean?"