No dignity part II (although completely unrelated to no dignity part I)

Church seems to usually be one of 2 things; either a really great, uplifting experience, or a total circus. It seems as though when one odd thing happens, oddities abound. Which, can either be really entertaining, or wholly annoying.

Yesterday was a fun church day. First, the choir. There are just certain songs that a really really small, mediocre choir should not sing. Like, anything super complex that has like 6 different parts going at once. The issue isn't that a small choir can't possibly handle something complex; the problem lies in the fact that almost every ward choir has the 1 or 2 token members who sing VERY strongly, and a little terribly. Not terribly enough that they don't rightfully belong in a choir; just painfully enough that you don't want to hear their voice rising above the rest. And when the rest are, say, 2 other guys or girls...it makes for a rough recipe.

Most of the songs were fine. But there were a couple, which I can't exactly recall (probably due to a subconscious mental block that my brain threw up) that were pretty painful, where our token rough little stars shone rather brightly above the mass. I appreciate that there are people who want to sing in the church choir. I just wish that all were aware of where their particular strengths/weaknesses lie. I myself have a decent choir voice. However, I am well aware of the fact that I should never ever be heard above the rest.

There was a really funny honker in sacrament. He would always blow his nose at the most inopportune moments. Like...in a transition between singing and speaking. No dignity. Silence would fall, and like clockwork a small, dull, delayed honk would pierce the silence. It was unique, in the sense that one could not actually hear any blowing occurring; it was pure honk. Usually there is a mixture; it is easy to tell that a nose is being blown. Not so, with this particular honker. It sort of sounded like a really small, depressed goose. And the only reason I ever figured out it was a male doing the honking, was because he continued it throughout priesthood (man class.) And he also fell asleep while texting in a not so clandestine manner, arm propped up on the back of the chair next to him, squinting at his phone held up for all to see. Again, no dignity.

Some good elder's quorum (man class) quotes: I think my favorite was an announcement for a small Monday night activity. "So, were gonna have a party out our place. Come screw off for an hour." So inappropriate and weird.

"I'm okay with the occasional quorum pie time." Whatever the hell that means. This was in response to a query on how more quorum unity might be achieved.

"How many of you have ever put your foot in your mouth? Oh, and I mean figuratively, not literally." Really? has anyone ever meant that literally?

Some member of the relief society (girl class) brought us treats to man class. When the treats were about to be passed out, these 2 loud, vocal clowns in the middle (who always had something "clever" to say about everything, always followed by raucous personal laughter, declared that the treats should begin in the middle, with them consequentially. This declaration was pretty much overridden by everyone else, and so on the treats went, down the left side, far from the middle. Their greedy eyes never left the basket, even though there were clearly enough treats for all. Anytime the basket was anywhere near, they would unabashedly call for it to head in their direction, even when such a change in trajectory would cause it to skip half the people in the room. No freaking dignity.

At least this Sunday there wasn't a talk from a crazy, 26 year old bitter, unmarried prude declaring that any priesthood holder who kissed a girl passionately wasn't worthy of his priesthood. But that is a story for another occasion.