Confusing numbers

Entered 3 very VERY old people into Carrabbas. I approached the table, less than thrilled. 3 sets of eyes peered at me from behind thick, gold rimmed glasses. Wispy, white hair in various states of sparsity. Eyes squinting, upper lip raised and crinkled into the the area just beneath her nose, mouth ajar, looking most confounded, one crone said, "Now, I might be retarded, but what are these numbers?"

Didn't really so much expect her to say that.

"Um, those numbers would be the prices."

It is a bad sign, whenever this query is posed. It typically means that the patron is unfamiliar with a menu that doesn't actually have a dollar sign next to numbers, and is therefore unaccustomed to eating places fancier than Denny's. Like, they are shocked that the 14 doesn't refer to the amount of shrimp they will be getting, or 23 ounces of filet.

"Now, we seen on a commercial that you got a special for all you can eat pasta, all you can eat soup, and all you can eat salad for $7.99" (I'll include the dollar sign here to avoid confusion.)

"Sorry, we don't offer infinity pasta, soup, and salad for $7.99. I think that was probably a different restaurant."

"No, now I'm pretty sure it was this one."

"Well, I'm fairly certain we have no such specials. In fact, we don't even have TV commercials. Maybe it was Olive Garden?"

"No, I think it was here."

"Perhaps Macaroni Grill?"

"No, that don't sound right."

"Well, we do have a special for a 7 oz top sirloin and grilled scallops and shrimp for 17 dollars."

She looked on the verge of panic at that suggestion. "Well, maybe I should call my brother and see if he is somewhere else?"

"Gosh, you should probably do that. Sounds like a GREAT idea. I bet he is at Olive Garden."

They left. THANK GOD.

One more reason why I hate my job. And yet another miracle from 2K10.

Thanks again, 2K10.


Lindsay said...

Did you really say that last bit? If so - you have earned my deepest respect haha.

Fish Nat!on said...

That last part was most certainly said. And it felt wonderful.

Lindsay said...

i laughed for 10 minutes after reading this. and then read it to claire. and we laughed some more. i like your blog!

<3 lindsay