18.4.10

Dear girls,



Please stop making this face. And then taking a picture of it when you do. Followed by posting it to your facebook account. Or blog. Or wherever it is you happen to be posting photos of yourself. Seriously. I've encountered entire facebook albums dedicated to this face.

I think I semi understand the underlying anatomy of posting a kissy-face-slightly-arched-eyebrows-sorta-seductive-gaze pose. I realize this accentuates your cheekbones, giving your face the illusion of being somewhat emaciated. Which, if the emaciated thing is what you are going for...well, spot on. And maybe some dudes will see your picture and think, "Whoa, I feel like she is making that stupid kissy-face-seductress-gaze pose at me." Although, the male specimen who thinks such a thing is probably the last person on earth from whom you would want to elicit such a response, as he is probably browsing your album alone at 3:30 in the morning with his shirt off, dividing glances between his own marvelous abs, and your kissy-face.

I'd actually love to have some input from guys here. Unfortunately, I think there is a disproportionate amount of females who read this blog vs. males. I'm not sure why. It may be that the blogging world is more heavily estrogen dominated. Or, it may be that I don't post enough pictures of babes doing a kissy-face. It's hard to know. But my question, is if you are a man, does the encounter of a kissy-face picture cause your loins to burn with desire, or do you, like me, find it to be a compelling reason make some sort of an audible "uggh" sound, in conjunction with a head shake, attached to a possible disgusted "sniff."

If you are a female, do you do the kissy-face for photos? And why? (If you happen to be a kissy-face culprit, feel free to respond anonymously.) Do you hate that your friends do it, or do you sort of think it is a good idea, but don't employ the technique, as you feel you have not yet attained mastery of the semi-seductive-gaze portion of the pose? Mastering the kissy-face-slightly-arched-eyebrows-sorta-seductive-gaze pose technique is hard. It really is.

Anyways, maybe this is simply another one of those things that falls under the "I'm never going to understand this," category, where dwell such phenomena as the popped collar, and flare jeans.

Oh, and the Double Down.

19 comments:

manda said...

looking like a hickey in this piccy

Fish Nat!on said...

Okay, let me set the record straight here. The blemish appearing upon my neck, while having the appearance of a hickey, is a wound acquired at the hands of a tree limb while mountain biking Saturday. Sounds like "a likely excuse," but that is God's honest truth.

Jessa said...

once upon a time, I had a dear friend, Brittany, Davis {now Barney} who had to have her mouth wired completely shut leaving her unable to actually smile. so the "kissy face" was thus invented and we have an entire summer {2006} worth of photos to prove that that face was once medically necessary....
I can't help it if my friend is a trend setter and subsequintly everyone else followed suit.

Romance Me said...

I find the pose to be annoying mainly because the girls "doing" the pose are just saying "look at me, I'm so pretty." Which means I don't do that pose.
My lover thought that she looked weird. He didn't like how her eyes looked and thought her cheeks looked weird and sunken.

Chris Almond said...

Here here!!! This pose is the worst!!!!
These kissy faces are a red flag to me that says: You do not have anything in common with this girl and will probably find here annoying. It is the female equivalent of being a 'douche bag'
Although there are at least 3 or four others that really stick in my craw as well. That really shoot machine guns into my crotch.
You should do a photo essay of you imitating all the various classic faces and poses from social network sites. and then stick them into my craw.

Chris Almond said...

also, as you had mentioned, I would be very interested in hearing from a male who enjoys this pose why they do. Though, I have a feeling that whatever sort of guy likes this sort of face may not be able to articulate why he would like it.

Word Verification: Melly

Fish Nat!on said...

Dear Christopher,

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard at a comment to one of my posts.

Thank you for making me laugh uncontrollably in church.

heather said...

as the girl in this photo, I feel like I need to tell everyone that this picture was taken for the sole purpose of this blog post, and not because fish and I are trying to seduce the whole world. just sayin. maybe you already knew that. maybe you didn't. I can't even know.

Kim DeRose said...

i find that making a good eyes-narrowed-slightly-rageful-don't-mess-with-me-ahole-sneer is a nice way to even out all the kissy-face-slightly-arched-eyebrows-sorta-seductive-gaze pics floating around out there. but only if you really put your best feminist/angry 4-year-old grit into it. if you're thinking you look kinda hot when you're mad? you've already failed.

wizzity said...

I cannot stand that face. It is not attractive. I find that making awkward faces in the mirror can be entertaining, but that doesn't mean that I take pictures of myself making those faces and plaster them on the internet.

Chris Almond said...

Thank you very much Andy.
Also, I never noticed until you pointed it out that you really do have a weirdly disproportionate amount of girl readers. What gives?

Anonymous said...

i found you through a friend who stalks you...we're both girls.

i am shockingly guilty of this accusation. while i used to believe that i am alone in my insecurities, i've come to learn that is rare. so i'll share with you my perspective and imagine that this is the voice of at least one or two others.

it is difficult to explain why a regular girl with brains and everything might have those photos in disgusting numbers. the short answer...i am totally insecure. i think that i take hideous photographs. nothing throws me into a tilt quicker than a camera (which is a big problem now with all these kids and their fancy technology). a camera causes me to do one of two things...a.) pull the kissy face or, b.) stick out my tongue.

i recognize that my reaction is immature, and that's kind of the point. it's the two things i can do with my face that i believed would ruin the photo without causing offense (apparently i was so wrong). BUT, it worked for a long, long time. most photos including me ended up in the trash pile (i had learned it's easier to ruin a photo rather than to persist against being in one). but now with digital images and endless storage space, the evidence is stacking up against me.

so i thank you, sweet fish, for sharing your perspective. now that i understand how badly i am mis-communicating, i will quickly learn to accept my average looking mug and just leave it as is...lazy eye and all.

Lindsay said...

I did this face in a picture years ago and my brother made so much fun of me that I've never done it again.

It is ridiculous, thank you brother.

Also there is probably a reason more girls probably read this blog than men, and thats probably because you are a man, not that women are reading your blog in the hopes that you will fall madly in love. However, women are more interested in a male opinion than men, and also blogging is definitely more of a "girl" thing.

Chris Almond said...

I wonder who the girl who stalks you is. I hope it isn't some killer. Or Michele Obama. (wouldn't that be weird if it was? I really do not hope it isn't her. If anything I hope it IS her, but I would honestly be willing to bet my own life that it is not her)

Lyns said...

Here I am. Another girl commenting. :) I only did that face when I was on drill team. I still don't understand why that was a common face used for drill team competitions. *shrug* Anyway, I did want to point out as the anonymous poster before me did that I really do think it's all about insecurity.

Fish Nat!on said...

I think the insecurity claim is interesting, as to be honest, the girls who seem to most frequently employ this pose fall under the category of what many guys would call "hot." really, they are just screwing up their faces. But their faces are already likely somewhat screwed up with excessive amounts of makeup.

Anonymous said...

Speaking to the comment about the "hot" girls making the face, being a girl, I've observed that hot girls are the ones who are usually insecure. They overdue it on the outside to compensate for how they are feeling on the inside. Other girls who maybe aren't so hot and are insecure follow what the "hot" girls are doing thinking that they may be perceived as "hot". Of course I'm not saying that all "hot" girls are insecure. Definitely not true.

Anonymous said...

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_7p9Lh6HuRKY/S7qHCgMvtbI/AAAAAAAAArI/7B1fA-cnNiU/s1600/Photo+74.jpg

Fish Nat!on said...

Haha. Who is this picture?