13.4.10

Monument


Upon leaving my house today, I encountered this gigantic treasure about a foot away from the sidewalk on my grass. Upon seeing it, I just stopped and marveled at the sheer magnitude of it. The only thing I had by which to scale it, was a Yoohoo can.

First of all, I'm really sorry this post is about feces. Second, I'm even more sorry that gargantuan thing is sitting upon my lawn, taking root. Third, I'm sorry again for posting a photo of said monstrosity possibly waiting, I fear, to come alive via some form of mutation to tear this city apart.

This is why I hate Salt Lake City dog owners. I have found no fewer than 8-10 such piles (albeit of a much smaller caliber) on my lawn in the time that I have lived in this house, and I can only imagine it will get worse as the summer arrives. You may think, "well would you want to pick that up while you were walking your dog?" Hell no, I wouldn't pick it up. Which is precicely why I will never own a creature that is capable of manufacturing feces of such epic proportions. That thing is bigger than a Yoohoo can. Get real.

If you choose to own a dog, and you choose to walk around with said dog, have the common decency to clean up after it. There is no way in hell my lawnmower will be able to grind that turd into oblivion. Until the cat lady or I find a shovel, that thing is a permanent fixture upon our lawn.

I'm really not okay with that.

2 comments:

Romance Me said...

Haha that's funny.

A good way to get rid of people letting their mutts leave things of epic proportions is to a)Romance the woman walking the dog b) if it's not a woman sit outside with a shotgun
That should do the trick.

Roxy said...

who drinks Yoo Hoo anymore?