God help us, this thing actually exists

Just when I thought that the fast food industry couldn't come out with anything more appalling (the McRib, chicken McNuggets, the Baconator, the Burger King Stacker Quad ((holy shit!)) I see this thing and get knocked on my ass.

The arterial Apocalypse pictured above is called the "Double Down." Just when KFC sorta tried to score some "healthy" points with grilled chicken, rather than the usual deep fried lard bucket, they drop this coronary napalm on the American public. I feel like, where land dwelling creatures are concerned, it should maybe be a crime to combine the products of more than 2 different animals in any one concoction. Especially when there isn't even any damned bread involved.

So, let's see. With the double down, we have product from 3 separate mammals: Cheese(s) from a cow, bacon(s) from a pig, and 2 huge chickens from probably an unfathomable amount of chickens, neatly pressed into patties (this estimate does not include any unknown variables, such as other birds or mice accidentally being ground up with the chicken.) And then no bread. And some sauce. The epitome of a meat sandwich. This is apparently what we have come to--thousands of years of eating, and we have digressed to a meat sandwich, that really can not even be classified as a sandwich, as the word "sandwich" inherently implies the use of bread. A meatwich maybe?

Whatever you want to call it, this is a big punch to the arteries and a drop kick to the non-existent 6 pack of obese America.

KFC claims that they have done an "estimate" on the nutrition information of the Double Down, and this is what they came up with:

Calories: 590
Calories from fat: 280
Total fat: 31g
Saturated fat: 10g
Trans fat: 0g
Cholesterol: 190mg

Hey KFC? Get real.

If that thing is less than 1000 calories, then I'm Jonathan Safran Foer.






I'm probably going to eat one. One.