Sweet bro, could you pass the game kill?

As the last fleeting images of Jerry Sloan screaming at me for sucking at basketball flitted away from my groggy mind, my eyes opened to a new, yet familiar vision; blurriness. As I lay there focusing on nothing (since I can't) I had two thoughts fluttering through my mind; being half blind sucks, and I sure hope I don't get game killed by a bro today. Little did I know that the latter was in my immediate future.

I'm riding on the bus towards my car. I'm sandwiched in between a bro and an attractive female, whom I shall refer to as Girta. Girta pulls out some anatomy flash cards. Even though the infectious waves of coolness emanating from the bro were practically crippling my ego, I decided to strike up a small conversation with her. After I broke the unwritten "Thou shalt not talk to attractive strangers on the bus" law, the bro was exceedingly quick to slide on into the conversation. "Ahh, sweet dude, I like totally took anatomy once," at which point I sat back to enjoy the spectacle. The bro quickly swept Girta off her feet with many well placed "sweets" and "totallys" and by using "like" at least 14 times per sentence.

How can I compete with that? I guess I learned two important lessons today. A, Don't ever strike up a conversation with a female when a bro is in the vicinity. And 2, waking up half blind doesn't ever stop sucking.


Carla said...

Only you would name an attractive girl Girta

jessaveda said...

1. get married and 2. get lasik. it will solve all of your bro/vision related problems as it has mine.

Tod Robbins said...

Amen and amen. Sweet Bros and Team Roxy, the archenemies of all kitten-respecting people in the world-sphere.