28.2.08

Onward Christian dinosaurs

Two things.

Ever has the topic, "where did the dinosaurs come from?" been an exciting discussion amongst the Gospel Doctrine classes in singles wards. Probably any ward. Was there a former dinosaur planet that was used as material to create the earth? Were the various periods of creation so long that dinosaurs had plenty of time to live, die, turn to oil, and be millions of years gone? Well, the latter theory certainly does not work, since there was no death till Adam ate the fruit. Unless of course Jesus slew all the dinosaurs in order that we might have future oil reserves. (Why did they all have to be slain in the Middle East?) According to this painting, however, he seems to be fairly amicable with the dinosaurs. I don't know that I've ever seen a more content Brontosaurus. That little alligator looks pretty happy too.

Even though my religion does not give me the answers to the big dino-question, luckily modern Christianity has some pretty good answers. Ahem.

"Those who accept the testimony of the Bible are confident that men and dinosaurs did occupy the ancient earth at the same time. We are not dependent upon modern discoveries to confirm that for us. However, when clear evidence does come to light, we should not hesitate to accept it." I feel so foolish for having never realized that my biblical testimony automatically includes the knowledge that Adam, Abel, and Enoch were chillin with dinosaurs.

It gets even better.

"There seems to be a reference to dinosaurs in the book of Job. Reference is made in chapter forty to a creature known as 'behemoth.' Behemoth is so powerful that no man is able to capture him This descriptive can hardly apply to the hippopotamus for Egyptian monuments frequently picture warriors attacking the hippo single-handed. The vegetation of whole mountains is said to supply this behemoth’s food, yet the hippopotamus eats only about two hundred pounds of herbage daily, and he stays near the water." Elephant?

Job was clearly dealing with dinosaurs. Duh.

"Some people believe that the Bible is not a scientifically accurate book, and that it is only a 'spiritual book,' that forgot about dinosaurs or described them incorrectly. This is not the case. Nobody has ever proven that the Bible contains any inaccurately recorded information."

Smith. Erasmus. Luther. Tyndale. Most ludicrous thing I have ever read.

Second thing.

I feel like LDS art is getting boring. There are 10 different Greg Olsens, doing basically the same paintings. I suppose such a thing is understandable; how original can one be when painting virtually the same thing that every other Christian artist is painting? Well, as the first picture in this blog has shown, there actually is a largely unexplored aspect in Christian art--Biblical dinosaurs. Greg, here is your future.

7 comments:

An G, So? Run, Son! said...

Can I put the second picture on a t-shirt? Would that be awful?

An G, So? Run, Son! said...

Or at least blow it up and make a book-cover out of it for my scriptures? I'm serious, by the way.

Kent Larsen said...

I too would love to get a larger version.

You might have copyright problems with distributing it, but I think you would be OK under the 'parody' exception. I am not a lawyer, so check with someone who knows.

But the image is great!

Joliene said...

Oh man, people saying that dinosaurs existed alongside humanity would make me angry if it weren't so hilarious.

Anonymous said...

That picture is in appropiate.

Anonymous said...

That picture is in appropiate.

Fish Nat!on said...

If you find something inappropriate, and feel inclined to make that known, at least have the courage to leave a name. Way to stand against something in anonymity.