I must warn you, the following may come across as "toilet humor." I generally don't pander into the whole poop/pee/fart comedy, because I feel that for the most part, those are cheap and generally unintelligent ways to get laughs. Any movie or TV show with a well placed fart will easily achieve its goal; laughter from those lacking intellect to get broader, wittier jokes (Arrested Development, R.I.P.)
So anyways the other day I was thinking about what might be the easiest way to create an irreparable enemy for life. I decided that probably taking a dump on something that somebody really likes would be the quickest way to accomplish that feat. I was thinking that, were I to lay my roommate's plasma TV flat on the ground and take a dump on the screen, we would become enemies. I can't think of anyone with whom, were they to take a dump on say, my bed, I would be able to have a meaningful relationship after the fact. They would pretty much earn a spot as a life long enemy.
Now, in my defense I did not choose to share this because I wished to receive some cheap laughs. On the contrary; I just wanted to share what I found to be a rather sound epiphany. Most people aren't hated by very many other people. How can one lead a meaningful, heroic life if one has no enemies, no arch nemesis? Why be liked by everyone? However, earning the hatred of most people usually requires some drastic, horrible event to occur. Like maybe robbings, pillagings, or killings. It doesn't have to be that way; creating enemies can be as easy as 1, 2.
I've reached a new low.