Farewell to a legend

Today is a day of complicated, mixed feelings. On one hand, I am elated that I shall never have to live another moment with the destroyer. His legendary filth shall forever rest atop the "award for the person/creature with the most squalid lifestyle I have ever met" pedestal located in the dark recesses of my scarred memory. On the other hand, he has provided me with an inexhaustible river of material about which to write. An odious, sludge-filled polluted river teeming with three-eyed fish and tiny mutant mer-people, with webbed appendages and gills. Probably bald.

As we were clearing out all of our possessions, I had to pass by his door multiple times. The usual stench was rendered doubly potent, due to the fact that 8 months worth of vile filth deposits were finally being disturbed. Let me provide a similar scenario. For those of you who have ever mowed a lawn/had dogs, this will make sense. When one mows over a pile of dog feces, whatever bacteria causing the odor are greatly stirred up, thus creating a potent miasma in the immediate area. I believe the smell created by the shifting about of furniture and other items was engendered upon similar principles.

Either way, it was a mixture of rotten meat and unwashed ass. Also sweat.

I have now moved into a large house named "Radio-Tron." I have yet to learn why it received such a name, as most of the people living here are currently in the process of moving out. I shall be residing here during the summer months, as all current occupants will be returning in the fall, unfortunately. This house is amazing. More to come.

All I can say is, farewell dear destroyer, and thank you for the material. May your life one day be filled with the joy of cleanliness. Until then, kudos to you for having the ability do endure the stench of rotten meat and Axe body spray. No particular order on that one.

No comments: