Let's talk about caloric intake

I believe this shall be the last of my boring travel posts. Again, probably for posterical purposes. Also, so that I might make up new words like, "posterical," which alludes to "having to do with posterity."

I believe the defining aspect of this NYC trip for me was FOOD. I am an intense lover of food. A courter of fine foods, if you will. And food was, in my opinion, the best thing that city had to offer. Let me quickly clear this up, because there has apparently been some confusion--I loved NY. Nope, didn't hate it, as some have gathered. Loved. But mostly due to the food.

Wednesday Night-7:52 pm-The Cafeteria. Salmon BLT w/ Avocado. -16
10:35pm-Magnolia Bakery. 2 Red velvet cupcakes. -5

Thursday- 12:15 pm- China Town bakery. Some buttery coconut injected roll, and a sick mini sandwich with miracle whip...GAG. -2
2:10 pm-Revolution. Pad Thai w/ chicken. -13
9:00 pm-The India House. Chicken Tikka Massala w/ some weird nacho cheese bread, wtf. -16
1:37 am-Some random 24hour bakery. Tiramisu. -5

Friday- 1:26 pm-Some absurd "organic" cafe. Filet Mignon Sandwich w/ a side of utter neglect. -14
9:04 pm-Cafe Metro. Sirloin Sandwich w/soy apple crisps and ginger ale. -14
9:27 pm-Street meat. -4
11:40 pm-Nooch. Massaman beef curry w/ edamame. -17
1:10 am-Dunkin Donuts. 25 munchkins w/ a fat ass. -6

Saturday- 2:12 pm-Lunella's in Little Italy. Veggie pasta primavera w/ tomato cream sauce, peas, carrots, mushrooms, and artichokes. -13
8:45 pm-Street bananas. -1
11:43 pm- Some sick bar and grill. Boneless garlic and parmesan wings, and carribean jerk regular wings, plus 50 other wings by mistake. -13
4:28 am- Pop Burger. 2 mini pop burgers. -7

Sunday 3:45pm- Pastis. French Toast, best of my life. -16
6:05 pm-Coney Island. Sick Corn dog. -3
6:24 pm-Coney Island. Coffee flavored ice cream cone. -3
6:37 pm-Coney Island. Another corn dog from Nathan's. -3
6:43 pm-Coney Island. Another coffee ice cream, but twice as big. -5
6:50 pm-Coney Island. A fat ass. All of the above.
10:19 pm- Pad Thai. Pad Thai shrimp w/ tofu. -11

Monday 2:00 pm. 3 guy's restaurant. Mexican burger w/ avocado, bacon, pepper jack. -13
4:21 pm- Starbucks. Strawberries and Cream frappucino. -5
9:00 pm- Some freaking italian place. Home made flat pasta w/ a white cream sauce, wild mushrooms, peas, sausage, and a split calamari. -26
12:52 am- Some random delimart. Ben and Jerry's kiwi strawberry sorbet. -5

Tuesday 12:31 pm-Pad Thai. Pad thai w/ shrimp and tofu again. -11
3:30. Starbucks. Vanilla bean frappucino. -5

Total gratuity- Somewhere in the neighborhood of 70.

Just a few events. 4th of July was the most magical I've ever experienced. Wandering through the streets surrounded by apartment buildings, the explosions sounded AMAZING. We watched the fire works from under the Brooklyn bridge amidst blaring car alarms and little screaming black children. I absolutely LOVED it.

I tried to find Guy-me-bow in China town (a delicious pastry to which I was introduced in San Fran) but was only offered "bud" and "rolexes" instead.

I was told by a bum in some park in which Gorgio Armini provides free wi-fi, "Yo this ain't yo ney-buh-hood. Don't get cute, cha git cha assss whooped." Whatever that means.

Got told to eff off by an angry manish female New Yorker after apparently walking on the same side walk as her, followed by being called a sucker of something I shant repeat, followed again by mother effers, and capped off with faggets. I suppose the tight jeans warranted that last one.

Was dazzled by a "lobster man" in the Coney Island freak show, which was undoubtedly the best 5 bucks I spent on the trip. Although it was a bit disconcerting when he made masturbation jokes concerning his deformed digits with about 20 little kids in the room. Not to mention he was a freaking CREEP.

The trip capped off perfectly with listening to Sufjan Stevens and Radiohead atop the Rockefeller center for an hour or so, followed later by an evening sitting in Battery park staring at the stature of liberty. It was seriously a perfect moment, laying on the grass by the east river, and discussing with Derek what it would be like if gravity suddenly failed, and we all floated to our deaths for about an hour. Would everyone be screaming? Talking? Trying to make amends? Praying? Enjoying floating about, as the last minutes to the end of their life counted down? Also, about what it would be like to be a murderer, and wondering if they ever wake up in the morning and think..."Hmm. Do I want to get up and exerci....Oh...oh no. Oh no no no. Crap. I'm a freaking murderer."

My conclusion-I liked Portland infinitely better.

Annnnnddd a picture or two. For mom.





And thus ends travel posting.