A matter of supreme urgency

After stepping through the stiflingly cold, obnoxious shower mist today, I reached for my poof. I grabbed it by the string, and then gave it a mighty downward swing in order to eject the cold water that had accumulated therein. Upon reaching the apex of the swing, the poof broke free of its strings and plopped upon the bathtub floor.

After a hasty retrieval, as I would dare say that anything beyond feet remaining upon the shower floor for longer than a second is probably a lost cause, I started to wonder at what point one should replace a poof.

Being a recently deflowered ex-virgin in the realm of poofdom, I am still not entirely savvy to poof etiquette. How long might one use a poof before it is time for a replacement? Does the answer depend upon the manner of usage to which the poof is put? If said poof is generally used as a generator of foam, rather than as an exfoliate, is the time frame where one may use it with dignity lengthened? Or does the generaly wet, mold and bacteria fostering nature of the shower area curtail any extra poof-life that might be hoped for upon avoiding actual contact with the filthier regions of the body?

I never knew that the poof commitment was such a multifaceted venture. This I know; I shall never mend my divorce with bar soap. The benefits of poof usage are far too multifarious. Ever since the switch, I have fallen in love, I have been promoted at work and am making way more money, my friend base has increased 10 fold, and my skin is never dry. Albeit only one of those last things is actually true, the switch was entirely worth it. God bless you, Deep Moisture Dove Beauty Body Wash.

But seriously, I need to know what to do about the poof. Was the broken rope a sign that I have neglected for too long a necessary purchase? I don't want any answers from men. If I were to use men as my judge, I would use the poof until it rots apart. I have been in countless showers over the years, and have watched a stifling number of poofs molder and decay with never a thought for replacement. I know there are women who read this blog. I want several opinions so that I can make an educated decision. If I like your answer best, I'll buy you a poof.

This post was such drivel.


Taren said...

three cardinal rules of the poof: 1) never ever keep 2 poofs, belonging to two different people, in the same shower. I have found myself in this situation more than once, "wait? is my poof blue or green... blue or green... I can't remember!" 2) Once the string is broken you will have no where to hang your poof. That can't be good. 3) Put $12 a year into your poof fund, and get one every month. Once the poof has lost the crisp new poof feel it needs to go.

Debbie said...

Poofs can be washed in the washing machine as well. That will take care of the germ infestation but it won't solve your broken string problem. I would wash my poof regularly between new poof replacments.

Amy said...

They cost $2. Is it really a big decision? FYI- once the string breaks sometimes they will unravel into miles and miles of fabric which you then have to wad up in your hand to use. The wad does not work as well as the poof.

Michelle said...

after previously seeing a tooth brush upon a vomit inducing sink and reading of the moldy shower curtain that may or may not cling to your skin while in said shower, i have had many terrifying mental images of what your bathtub floor may or may not look like.

this being said, the poof has seen it's day.

Anonymous said...

i actually use a wash cloth instead of a poof. you can buy several and wash them all the time, thus curtailing your freakish germ fears. and my dear sweet nugget if you want a truly divine showering experience you can use my shower where the curtain rod curves out so the shower curtain (which in this case is not rancid) cannot touch your dove lathered silky skin. brandle

steph said...


this is the best poof ever. and yeah, don't use it once the string falls off because as someone said, it will unravel.

Fish Nat!on said...

no no. it isnt unraveling. because only the string tied to the sting holding the whole thing together fell off. I did some in shower surgery, and tied it back on.