22.3.09

No dignity part VI

Pleeeeaassseee. Please. Puhhhllleeeease. For the sake of your own personal dignity, and my sanity, PLEASE don't ever, whilst dining in a restaurant, ask if something is FREE. Like, for instance, if I ask you if you desire an appetizer. Rather than simply saying, "Not today," PLEASE don't say something to the effect of, "Do you still bring out the free bread?"

And then please don't proceed to convince the others at your table that an appetizer is unnecessary, because he (me) is going to bring us (them) free bread (damn you.)

When you are at Denny's, it's probably okay to ask if something is free. Like if you are worried that all those little jelly's that come with your grand slam toast are free or not. But not in a restaurant where there exist items upon the menu that exceed 20 dollars. And where wine is sold. And where the servers aren't wearing jeans, but pressed white 100% cotton shirts and ties.

Have a little dignity, and avoid the word "Free."

I guess I should have seen 4 dollars on 37 coming.

5 comments:

steph said...

my favorite one is when people ask if water is free. i kind of applaud you for not shooting anyone, your no dignity posts always make me want to shoot someone and i'm not even violent.

Michelle said...

olive garden?

Fish Nat!on said...

nooo.

Carrabbas.

Michelle said...

next time i go there, i am requesting you.

and you will know it is me when i ask if you charge for free bread.

Jerry said...

bravo bravo! i served at a 5 star restaurant in utah valley, the capital of cheap (or some might say frugal) weirdos! or better known as the epicenter of the strawberry lemonade. if you want to be "frugal" then don't go to a place where the entrees are 50 bucks. GO TO CHILIS dagnamit!