Territory marking

Many of you have possibly been wondering if the destroyer has been laying dormant for a time.

He has not.

His reign of filthiness has somewhat loosened its grip of late, but this is certainly but a short term phase.

The putrescence will surely return, in all of its repugnant glory.

Before, however, the destroyer went on his momentary hiatus from slobbery, he did leave me with one preciously bewildering photo op. As previously documented, the destroyer loves smoothies. Having been banned from my food processor due to allowing his fruit crustings to dry as lichen upon the walls my fruit liquefying unit, he bought his own blender. The general process went as follows: Leaking frozen fruit bag left upon counter top for hours, thus bleeding fruit juice all over said counter--Eventual creation of smoothie--Consumption of approximately half of said concoction--Leaving the remainder of said smootie to coagulate in blender pitcher on counter for many hours, followed by eventual placement in fridge. Now, at some point between the counter top congealment and fridge placement, there is a pitcher exchange. This would be where the pitcher in the photo above comes into play. As said pitcher sat in the fridge for two days with the remainders of the Destroyer's smoothie fermenting inside, fruit bits gradually cemented themselves all over the upper half of the container, rendering the whole thing extremely difficult to clean. Of course, the Destroyer despises cleaning in even the easiest of situations. Therefore, as the last curdled dregs of the smoothie slid down his throat, his mind was certainly far from forming thoughts of a proper pitcher cleansing.

The chunky remnants of his smoothie surely left him immediately desiring some other form of liquid sustenance.

Enter Crystal Light--the one thing the Destroyer loves nearly as much as his smoothies. Apparently his love of fake, sugar-free lemonade and his hatred of cleanliness were enough to thwart all sanitary thought. Hence, the fruit crusted pitcher full of Lemonade.

Needless to say, the Destroyer doesn't ever have to mark anything as his. One must simply look for the crusty remnants of previous foods or beverages to determine to whom anything belongs.


heather said...

oh my gosh! that's so funny and sick...

Snubbs the White Rabbit said...

Dude, I have my own dirty roommate problems. While mine isn't as bad as this asshole he is still way dirty. So i definitely feel you.

Fish Nat!on said...

let me clear one thing up- the destroyer isn't an asshole. he is actually otherwise a fairly cool guy. it is just unfortunate that his filthiness and inconsiderateness make me pist at him quite often. quite a tragic situation, really.

i merely had to defend him in that, he is not an asshole in the genuine sense of the word. he is not filthy with the intention of being a jerk. he is merely oblivious to many forms of common courtesy.