Sorry my blog has been a rather large disappointment of late. Although, it may be a bit pretentious of me to suppose that very many people are actually "disappointed" about my lack of blogular input. The truth is, I have been working a lot lately. And when I am working a lot, my life is relatively boring and repetitive, and therefore my idea pool has been a little shallow of late.
Also, as silly as this sounds, I have begun to write a book. Ugh. I hate the way that sounds. I really feel like a pretentious bastard every time I say it. Actually, I am writing a book about a pretentious bastard who is writing a book about a pretentious bastard.
Okay, so that isn't true. Except for the part about feeling like a pretentious bastard. Although, I suppose I could add the "bastard" tag to just about anything concerning myself, since technically I am/was. My birth father was a teacher who knocked up his student, thus earning me the title of "bastard." Actually, the first time that I realized that the technical term "bastard" applied to me was when I was about 16. I was watching Oprah, and the theme was "bastards," or something. As I was reveling in Oprah's wisdom, it suddenly occurred to me that, being born out of wedlock, I qualified as a so called "bastard." My mother was in the kitchen baking a food. I turned around and said, "Wait a second. So I'm a bastard? I'm a bastard, aren't I?" To which she replied, "Well...not really. Uhh...we sort of saved you from that." To which I said, "Huh. I'm a bastard."
So, I suppose one could correctly call me a "lucky bastard," or an "ugly bastard," or even an "awesome bastard." I guess my point is, you may call me pretentious for writing a book, but you might as well not bother adding the bastard tag. I've spent the last 10 years coming to terms with the fact that I was probably conceived on a desk, or in a broom closet, so if you feel the need to offend me, try something else. I have accepted my bastarditity.
So really the whole point of this seemingly crass post (although it really isn't, because bastard isn't an expletive when used in proper context) is that I have been doing a lot of book writing, thus my blog is suffering.