Nocturnal mysteries

A weird nocturnal phenomenon has occurred in my bed, and I don't quite understand it.

When I bought my new bed about a month and a half or 2 ago, I also purchased a new comforter. At IKEA, their comforter heat levels were scaled from 1-5; 1 being the lightest, 5 being suitable for the coldest freezing hell. For whatever stupid reason, I decided to go with a 4, even though I rarely get cold during the night. I suppose I was planning on running the heater basically never during the winter, and so at the time thought that a 4 would be a good choice.

Turns out, for the first month.5 that I had it, the 4 was a poor life decision. I woke up most mornings with a sweaty collar/spinal column. I kept thinking, "Soon winter shall descend upon us, and the sweatyness shall have an end." Well, the weather grew colder, yet I was still waking up half the time with a damp shirt. This was annoying mostly because it made for extra frequent sheet/blanket washing, and caused the morning shower to become a necessary staple.

Suddenly Obama was victorious, and the weather grew colder. Despite my best efforts to keep the furnace dial in the off position, someone in the home keeps turning it on, and thus our house has remained at basically the same temperature as during warmer, pre-Obama era. Yet somehow or another, over the last few days the sweating has ended. I wake up in the morning, (11ish) completely buried beneath the comforter, Hot Pocket nestled under my armpit, with a completely dry collar. No longer have I half kicked the blanket away during the night; the comforter is no longer overbearing. Just comforting.

Did my body finally just self-regulate and adjust to the heat? Our house is definitely not any colder than what it has been, maybe by 5 or so degrees at the most. If so, thanks body. You sure are great. If not, damn you IKEA for producing a blanket that has already lost its heat integrity in so short a time period. Or maybe thanks IKEA, because I bought a blanket that was too bloody hot in the first place.

I'm so confused.


Alison said...

What fun it would have been if you did not explain your first sentence.

Josie said...

you make a story about your comforter funny. how. how, andy?