I have recently found myself at the horrifying age of 26. As well as becoming a menace to society in the eyes of the church, I have also found myself floundering in the unfortunate, shark filled pool of uninsured Americans, since my parent's policy kicked me off this month. As I flew down a mountain on my bicycle Saturday, I couldn't help but think that, were I to wrap my spine around a tree, I would probably just have to be put to sleep, as I couldn't afford the subsequent spine straightening and Vicodin.I went to lunch with my insured mother and sister on Thursday. I was being lectured on why I must acquire insurance as quickly as possible, in case of a bike/tree/spine crinkling incident. I thought, "Well I can't afford bloody insurance."
Suddenly the subject changed. Our dear, dear Taco had experienced some recent dental work. She was sent to the groomer for her monthly tune-up, where they put bows on her ears. So darling. My mother requested that her teeth be brushed, due to her breath smelling like a rotting bag of chicken. Upon looking at her teeth, the groomer informed my mother that Taco would need some teeth pulled.
$500 and 14 teeth later, Taco was cracked out on pain killers and basically good as new, if rather lethargic and toothless.
Should I feel unloved by the fact that my parents were willing to expend a rather absurd amount of cash on Taco's dental work, yet my spine is in current danger of a monetarily irreversible crinkling? Is it because I am adopted?
Well so is Taco. And at least I am not completely nuts.
5 comments:
No, you shouldn't. Taco is still a minor and when you lived at home I spent that much on your teeth and more ;) lol Love you.
oh, taco. what a lovely animal.
My dog just had surgery to have a paper clip removed from his idiot dog stomach. He had a doggy IV and went to the doggy intensive care unit. THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS LATER, he still can't roll over or pee outside.
Will my parents pay to have my wisdom teeth extracted? Not unless I grow a tail and start barking.
I GET IT, FISH.
Why are you a menace to your church?
My name is Robert Fraser and i would like to show you my personal experience with Vicodin.
I am 27 years old. Have been on Vicodin for 1 day now. Found a few pills. I'm currently not an addict though I have taken vicodin in the past and I am certainly playing with the devil because I do like the feeling it gives me. Biggest problem, besides the addiction, is Insomnia. Tossed and turned for two hours before I decided to research it.
I have experienced some of these side effects -
Constipation and insomnia.
I hope this information will be useful to others,
Robert Fraser
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