Dance on, christian brother

Being a mostly noon person, I despise the moment when I must finally drag my worthless carcass out of bed and begin my day. Especially if I have no pressing reason for which to get up. It is usually a process of intense self mockery, calling myself lazy, sloven, useless, etc until I can't take the ridicule any longer. At which point I peel the sleeping mask from my eyes, bask for a moment in the light induced blindness, followed by the barely functioning eye induced blindness. At this point I usually wonder if there is perhaps a stranger in my house, somebody there that I can't see. Possibly right there in my room, waiting to murder me the instant I put on my contacts. As the first one uncomfortably suctions itself to my eye, there he would be, seemingly popping out of nowhere, right in front of me. Upon seeing the sudden look of startled shock on my face, he would yell, "Surprise!" At which point he would murder me, however one who does that sort of thing murders someone. In all likelihood it would be in some horrible fashion, as he would probably be pissed that he had to stand there till nigh unto noon, waiting to perform his jack-in-the-box murder.

Point of all of that, I hate waking up. Showering is another part of the morning ritual that I oft less than thoroughly enjoy. I like being clean and having the water basically blast the flesh away from my spinal column, due to our overly zealous fire hose of a shower head. But it's the whole process that I find annoying. Getting wet, going through the soapy rubdown, attempting to avoid any bodily contact the the rotting sheet of hepatitis which we lovingly call "shower curtain." Followed by the rinse, the towel off, and then going through the hellacious process of trying to decide what to wear amongst so much clothing I am bored with. (I realize one shouldn't end a sentence with "with," but get over it.) In summation, it is the whole process, the wasted half hour that I find irksome. I mean individually, I for the most part love each one of those things--clothing, water, soapy rubdowns. All together they become drudgery. I have however, found a way to allay much of unpleasantness found in said process.

The shower dance party.

I have found that there really is no better way to start one's day than with a shower dance party. Not necessarilly with others, mind you, but alone in one's own naked glory. Standing under the fire hose, listening to my favorite dance rock or electronica causes me to forget the process and simply shake what my birth mother gave me (I appologize if that provides a rather horrifying mental immage.) All I am saying, is lathering and rinsing while dancing starts my day off on the right foot. The dancing foot.

I feel like my religious audience would argue that something spiritual would be the most benifical way to start my day, ergo scripture study should be my first order of business upon wakening. As I was dancing in the shower this morning thinking about just that, I had an epiphany. Why not dance AND read scriptures, thus combining the best of both worlds? "Hello little Nephi little Lehi, your's are the dreams we're believing..." I'm think I'm feelin' a little Shiny Toy Book of Mormon booty shake.

Suddenly scripture study is fun and rockin. Now, I don't feel as though scripture study and dance rock/electronica should be a permanent mixture. But I do feel like a little morning-scripture- dance- party does a spiritual body good.


karen said...

Yeah. I kinda like it.

Jessa said...

ha ha ha LMAO