Please pass the bandaid(s)

Apparently I have some form of previously untapped, super strength.

My house is the hottest place on planet earth. Especially my room, which has, until many fan installments, been the hottest room in the house. I mean, I don't know why I didn't enjoy living in such a hot environment, as nothing pleases me more than sleeping in a pool of my own sweat. Waking up with a soggy collar, disoriented and confused is nothing short of glorious.

So. A couple of mornings ago, I arose dripping from my mattress, ready to greet the new day with matted hair and a great attitude--it was my last day of school.

I decided that I should open my window as much as possible, as even outside under the blazing sun is more pleasant than my sweaty den. I knelt upon the couch which is located below my window and firmly placed my palms upon the glass and began to heave in a mighty upward motion.

Nothing happened.

As I had tried, and previously struggled to open my window more than a few inches, I thought "Well, I should just push harder." Seconds later, I was wondering what on earth had just happened as I was looking at my hand, which was covered in shards of glass.

Apparently, my left arm has some form of mutant gorilla strength. I shattered the freaking window pane. So there I sat, somewhat horrified, staring at my left hand covered in tiny glass shardlings, awaiting my life to summarily flow from my hand.

It started out as a trickle here...and then a trickle there...and then there and there and there and there. All in all about 7.

I began to panic, as I don't appreciate the sight of blood--especially my own. I thought, "Huh. I hope no glass shardlings are embedded in my flesh, as that will make for a rather unpleasant experience." I walked down stairs, watching the red rivulets begin to converge and pool in my palm. I ran it under water until I thought most of the shardlings were washed away. Water pretty much increased the blood flow. Afterwards, I tried to brush away any further shardlings with a Kleenex.

To my great and eternal relief, there was no glass embedded in my hand.

I also bought a fan to place in my now broken window, and another one to blow down upon me from the desk. With that set up, I now sleep like baby Zeus nestled in his bed of clouds, free from sweat, and the unpleasantness involved in waking up covered with it.

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